Gliebermania!

It now appears Ottawa Renegades fans will see one of two things happen in the next month. A) The death of the franchise or B) the return of the Gliebermans. I keep hoping there's a third option that reads, C) none of the above or C) Ha! Good one. You almost had me there for a minute.

I can't take another ownership crisis. I really can't. The Senators. The Lynx. The Rebel. The Loggers. The Wheels. The Intrepid. And of course, the Ridergades, who must be in double digits by now. So much death. So...much......death.

If you remember buying 25 and 50 dollar "community shares" in the Riders (which entitled you to possess a useless piece of paper with a cartoon rooster on it), then you understand how I feel. If you had a Rider rain poncho, seat cushion and red plastic horn (non telescopic) then you know how I feel. If you've suffered through Prince McFriggin'Junkins, Chris Isaac, Roy DeWalt, Ken Hobart, Terrence Jones, David Archer and Dan Crowley then you know how I feel.

The Ridergades still have hope but it rests with one of the many ghosts of failed ownership past. The Gliebermans. This is worse the Senators bringing back Patrick Lalime. But it's not worse than losing the football franchise all over again.

I blame everything on the curse of the double interference. This team hasn't had a second of good luck from the second Tony Gabriel got mugged in the 81 Grey Cup. Let me reset that story, simply because I do enjoy remembering a time when I spent no time thinking about ownership.

Late in the game, Ottawa and Edmonton were tied at 23 with 3:28 remaining. Gabriel made a crucial 2nd down reception at the Ottawa 53. It would have been a 20-yard gain but perplexingly, Gabriel and his defender Gary Hayes were both called for interference. Replays showed Gabriel had done nothing while Hayes had. The play was nullified. On the next play from the 33, J.C. Watts was sacked. The Riders were forced to punt and the resulting loss of field position was the deciding factor in a 26-23 Edmonton victory. Not only that, the play also polished off Gabriel's wonky knee. Ottawa got the ball back one more time but Gabriel was unable to continue.

And not only THAT, but the Ridergades have had 24 years of back luck. TWENTY-FOUR! That reminds me. I need beer.

The Cheerleading Menace

I'd like to congratulate Texas this morning. They've solved all problems in that state. Crime, drugs, health care, education, poverty, homelessness, pollution, violence. All solved. It's the only way one could explain the state House even discussing, let alone banning dirty dancing.

Yessir. Cheerleaders are just too damn sexy in Texas. Yesterday, they demanded a return to more 'ladylike' routines and restricted all sexually suggestive moves.
We can only hope they'll yank at least one police oficer off the street (preferrably 2 or 3) so he can monitor all dance numbers across the state from here on out.

What is this? Footloose? Is John Lithgow going to wander into high schools and put the kybosh on gyrating? Put his foot down on pelvic thrust?

Why, this is the best example of prioritizing the issues since Ottawa's free crack pipe plan. The world is nuts.