It's All San Andreas' Fault

Had a novocaine-gushing needle rammed into my jaw bone about hundred times right after the show this morning (I think Buzz must have paid off my dentist). So if I come off as bitter and cranky, that’s the reason. Okay, pimple-lips?

The video game Grand Theft Auto-San Andreas has everyone pretty worked up right now. Apparently, god forbid, there are sex scenes buried within the game. The sex scenes are not playable in the
retail version of the game unless the user downloads and/or installs a bunch of stuff from the ‘net.

The porn scenes (which are about as titillating as the attractive versions of Shrek and Princess Fiona getting it on) caused such a stir that it actually made headlines when Rock Star Games, makers of GTA, was forced to introduce an Adults Only label to the game, instead of Mature.

What I love is how this game was completely ignored by the media until “secret sex” was discovered. Ooooh, secret sex. The warning on the box of intense violence and drug use was fine.

Now instead of letting people 17 and over (M) buy the game. You have to be 18 and over (AO). All this debate to prevent 17 year olds from playing the game. Take that, permissive society! Score one for traditional family values! Imagine the average conservative household coming across sex scenes while they were in the midst of a nice wholesome gang war? Brutal.

“Okay, son. Let’s fire up our new game. Here we go. Okay, let’s steal that car. Good. Get your sawed off shotgun ready. Okay. Now shoot that drifter and take his liquor. Yeah, great shot. Now pull over. Good. Steal the hooker’s money. Wait. She had drugs on her. Take them. Okay, smoke a little crack. Slap the hooker. Shoot her pimp’s head off. Good. What a great game you’re having, Timmy ….wait a minute. Hold the phone. What the…? People are having sex in this game! Nooooooooo! Avert your eyes, Timmy! Avert your eyes!”

Get it straight, everyone. Blood lust good. Sex bad.

Will Bob Stay or Will Bob Go?

There sure seems to be a lot of interest in whether or not Bob Goodenow will return as executive director of the NHLPA. Will he help the NHL survive long term? No. Will he help my team win the Cup? No.

So go ahead. Stay. Leave. Give his job to a wiener dog. I don’t care.

All I want is for Goodenow or his replacent to go away. And when I see you in six years, do what you did today. Let the players vote. Spare us a repeat of all this garbage.