Each mini-column even has headlines like “This and That” or “Hear and There” (now that one kills me. Let me explain. It sounds like they’re saying the word “here”, indicating location, but what they’re really saying is, “This is what I hear”. Ha ha ha! Wow. That’s why they’re sportswriters and you work at Denny’s.
It goes something like this...
Cap Shmap…(How do you like it so far?) The CFL’s salary cap hike is ridiculous. It doesn’t improve the competitive balance. All it does is allow the irresponsible spenders to overspend with a clean conscience. (now finish with an open ended question) Until you enforce it, how does jacking up the salary cap help anything.............................
(Sorry. That’s probably too much dot dot dotting. Oh, what the hell. It gets me closer to the end of the column, a steak dinner and a Sleeman's.................
Duck You, Anaheim.......Memo to Randy Carlyle. Practicing on the canal is the Sens’ thing. Back off a couple of chevrons. You don’t see the Senators going into Anaheim and uh….practicing the flying V or knuckle puck or hanging with Emilio Estevez. Actually, not even Charlie and Martin Sheen want to be seen with that guy (it’s dottin’ time!)............
(Finally, maybe something "non-sports" to cap things off) Which female celebrity’s stock has fallen the farthest? Whitney Houston, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Nicole Richie, Britney Spears, Jessica Simpson, Katie Holmes, Tom Cruise or Courtney Love. My write-in vote is, Melissa Joan Hart, formerly the cute blonde star of TV’s Sabrina the Teenaged Witch. What the heck happened here?
Yes. The dot dot dot column. Learn to love it. And count yourself lucky that I never try and pull something like that off with my column. (Editor's note: Steve likes to call his blog a "column". Just smile and nod and give the thumbs up sign when he does that.)
