Thanks to those of you who have sent in cards and letters, supporting me in my battle against the creepy phenomenon that is the Burger King. I fear him like no one else. The BK has shot to fame in TV ads, showing up in weird place, freaking people out, then trying to make things right with a Whopper. And it's not even a fresh, piping hot Whopper. He's always miles from the nearest heat lamp. That thing must be ice cold and fully congealed.
Now the BK is apparently seducing middle aged men. Yes, on top of everything else, now I have that to worry about the BK busting a move on me. The man who goes to bed with him in this TV ad clearly has no memory of his night with the BK, who did god knows what to him in the night.
You think an apologetic Whopper is going to make it all better? Be warned, Burger King. If I wake up and you're there in my bed, just sitting there with that maniacal smile, no amount of Whoppers will save you.