As much as I hate the Leafs, it pales in comparision to my hatred of meter weasels. I’ve always dealt with parking tickets here in the Byward market. I’m in at 5am and you can park legally at a meter until 8:30am. Occasionally, as was the case today, I forget to get out there until 8:31, just in time to see a meter weasel scurrying back into the sewer, dinging me for 35 bucks
Parking downtown is so expensive that I can get 3 parking tickets a month and it’s still cheaper than buying a pass for a city lot that generally reeks of urine. So I usually come out ahead.
But lately it’s been a losing battle, like the Leafs trying to beat the Sens. The meter weasels have upped the ante. They used to patrol on foot, giving you a sporting chance. Now they just cruise around in cars, looking for expired meters.
That’s like taking a machine gun when you go deer hunting. That’s like clear cutting our forests. Like using illegal netting when salmon fishing in BC. Give us a chance, weasels!
And you’d think the meter weasel, who devotes his professional life to ridding the world of illegal parkers would at least park legally themselves. Don’t be ridiculous. When they see 0:00 blinking on my meter, they throw their vehicle in park, right in the middle of the street, probably on top of a pedestrian and give me a ticket. You’re stopping my crime by committing the exact one yourselves? Adorable.
And what happened with government at all levels and their deep concern for the environment? Before punching me in my financial face, the weasels are apt to park in a handicapped zone, allowing their new, ten thousand dollar Yugo to idle, burning fuel that costs taxpayers a buck a litre and injecting the environment with more carbon monoxide.
Look, I’m not saying I don’t deserve the odd ticket. But Law and Order has taught me a lot. 1) Ice T cannot act. 2) You cannot break the law to enforce it. Hey. Come to think of it, in the last episode, Ice T had a case thrown out because he didn’t follow proper police protocol.
Oh yes. See you in court, weasels.
