Okay. It's time for the obligatory, year-end fodder. The plays of the year. The Christmas wish lists. Whoops. That's festive wish lists. Festive!!!! Oh, no. And so it begins. The Christmas protestors are out there already. Now how are my kids going to play in the front yard with all the Christmas protestors out there? Look at them out there. Hmmm. Looks like they're taking a break and building a fort in my 80 foot wall of snow I was forced to construct this week. What fun.
This week there was much ado (ado is a word I resolve to use much more frequently in 2008) about an Ottawa public school that planned to eliminate the word Christmas from their Holiday assembly. In the song, Silver Bells, they were to sing, "It's festive time in the city." Many Ottawans were appalled at this latest attack in the war on Christmas. It was quite a story. But a good story needs a hero and a villain. I didn't find myself pulling for anyone in this issue. For the record, they dumped "Silver Bells" and went with Frosty the Snowman. I gotta say I have a much bigger problem with snowmen coming to life one day. That's witchcraft. There's no place for witchcraft in my festive time. Unless it's Neve Campbell from that witchcraft movie whose name I can't remember right now.
The removal of the word Christmas from a Christmas song is pointless. When you do that, you're not including everyone, you're confusing everyone. Festive time? What's that? Canada Day? Mardi Gras? Does Festive time include my religion? I don't know. This is really weird. Festive Time? Are you sure this is right? Am I being Punked right now?
It's simple. If you're worried that a Christmas song will leave some kids feeling excluded and upset, then why do you want a Christmas-themed song in there anyway? If I were Mayor, I'd pass a by-law. Ottawa's public elementary schools would only be allowed to sing Beach Boys tunes during their holiday assemblies.
And getting all crazy worked up about it is also dumb. Are you really that upset? Really? On the world's list of things Christians should be furious about, this one doesn't rate that high with me. It was someone with good intentions, trying to think of other people's feelings. You know. That golden rule thing.
So I have to admit, I'm squarely on the Christmas fence on this one. So, as long as I'm here, I've decided to decorate it, Festivus style. A little tinsel with lights on the cross beams. Some garland wrapped around the posts. It's really nice. Best of all, it's inoffensive and means nothing to anyone.