Oh. He Didn't Retire? Shocker.

Brett Favre has become a joke. I may retire. No I won’t. Yes I will. Yes, I’m definitely retired. Wait, no I’m not. Hang on a minute. I’m definitely playing. Definitely not. I want to play but I can’t. Or maybe I will. Nope, definitely retired. But maybe I’ll change my mind. Yes. I’m back. Except I’m not. Nope, camp is half over. So I’m playing. For the time being.

For years, we marvelled at Favre's ability to play the game like a kid. He's still behaving like one off the field, playing stupid little games.

“Please come back, Brett. We need you Brett. You’re so wonderful, Brett. Smooch smooch smooch. I'll pick you up at the airport. We'll produce another career tribute. Smooch smooch smooch."

I hope Favre is awful with the Vikings this season. That way any further comeback attempts and the accompanying lies and flip flops won’t be an option. I want Favre to be so breathlessly useless that we never have to discuss this again. When he is completely used up and we finally stop paying attention to him, watch for him to play the "hold his breath until his turns blue" card.

I wonder if John Madden, Favre’s number one fan/stalker, will put down the turducken stick and end his retirement too.