(Notable Team 1200 characters in photo: TGOR Producer Kenny Walls in goal, the humble blogger to his left and Steve Lloyd far right. At rear, third from left, Stuntman Stu and second from right, Angry Al.)So I shall turn the blog today over to the emailers, who jammed us up with over 100 suggestions this morning.
Roy: Ringer guy. The other team is short players so they bring in a “ friend “, who just happened to play pro in Europe in a past life. He basically uses everyone on the ice as pylons during his 9 goal performance. That’s always a lot of fun.
Foligno Fan: Excuse guy. Blames home life, health, lack of sleep or equipment malfunction. Everything but the fact he sucks.
Greg: Matching equipment guy. No matter what ridiculous colour his team wears, he spends hundreds of dollars to ensure he has the corresponding helmet gloves and pants, even though everyone else has the standard issue Ottawa black gear.
Punt Lover: (Obviously looking in Stuntman Stu’s direction). Top-of-the-line equipment but cannot skate guy. He's the one that has the best of everything, didn't pay for it but he still can't play, can't stop and his nose is always off side at the media games.
Government Mike: Colonel Flag guy. This guy is the guy that simply disappears about 2 minutes before the bill for pitchers and wings shows up. NO ONE ever sees him leave….
Borden Farm Paul: Only a knee injury or lack of size kept me from the pros" guy!
Jason: Terrible but NEVER misses a game guy. You wouldn't mind if he missed a few here and there.
Ken: Never washes his equipment guy. He spends a pile of time with the puck because no one wants to get within 5 feet of him. He's coincidentally "sits on the chair in the room" guy... same reason.
Greg: Plays 4 nights a week and still has a beer gut guy.....
Steve: Keeps gear in garage then complains about his frozen rock solid stuff guy.
William: Yard sale guy. Fallin' all over the ice!!
BR: Dismisses all skill by saying “He’d/you’d get killed in a contact league guy.
Tabaczuka: Yells at goalie guy. Leave the goalie alone...he's only playing because no one else wanted to be the goalie.
Don: Forgets a crucial piece of equipment guy.
Dan: Doesn’t show up guy. Especially heinous when he’s a goalie or ref.
Reg: Lathers his junk in the shower way too much guy.
Sean: Has To Re-introduce Myself To Our Goalie After The Game Guy. He can’t be bothered to come back to his own zone even for face-offs.
Clem: Anybody got any tape, I forgot mine at home guy...Which is funny, considering he never has tape. He is usually the same as: Does anybody have any shampoo guy. Or doesn’t shower after the game guy.
Big Rick: Brings beauty products guy. You know, that fancy guy who prepares more for the showering with other men experience then the actual game itself! Luffa, bathrobe, flip flops, nail clipper but has to ask every other guy for soap! Then the post shower creams and sampler colognes and of course the hair products! This same guy plays with a broken stick for 6 months!
The Annihilator: I used to school famous guys guy. The guy who constantly says “I use to school Yzerman back in Atom”… “Lindros was nothing, I used to take him to school him physically when we were 6”.
Eric in Shawville: smells like Fleecy /Bounce sheet Guy. Seems his wife is also addicted to Febreeze and thinks she is doing him a favour by having him smell like a cheap lady of the evening. Long after he leaves the corner his fragrance lives on
Rudsy: Never Know Who’s in the Stands Guy – he’s the guy who plows someone into the boards in a no contact league because their may be an NHL scout in the stands looking for a rugged winger to compliment their fourth line.
The Hawk: Dull Skates Guy. You know, the guy who can't skate, continuously falling, blaming it on dull skates.
The Matrix: Waist-high 60 mph pass guy. Then is critical that you didn't corral his pass by merely sacrificing 9 bones in your hand.
Frank: Arrives late guy.
Steph in the Beac: Likes to whip up his junk while holding court guy.
Mark: Walks around the room naked way to much guy.
Rob: slash the back of your legs if u take the puck guy.
Brad: Obsessed-with-personal-stats-guy. You know, the guy you hear saying "yeah I got an assist on that... You know, when tried to ice the puck as I went off, and you ended up scoring on the play.
Kevin: Throwback EVERYTHING guy. Wears Gear from the 70’s. Helmet made famous by Stan Mikita, Butch Goring or Craig Ramsay.
Shawn: Angry Goalie guy. When Pond Hockey guy doesn't back check and his team gets scored on, Angry Goalie guy loooooses it! He let's everyone know, especially Pond Hockey guy, that they "have to get back on D". Usually the brother or close friend of Steve's "Coaches From the Bench" guy.
Marc: Never gets off the ice guy, everyone has one. This guy starts the game and ends the game on the ice. Usually the same guy who stays at the red line with his stick in the air looking for a break away pass.
Pat: Over his head guy. He's the guy that is playing on a team about 3 or 4 divs higher than he should. But no one has the heart to tell him. He's usually the first guy to pay his league dues first.
Finally, this one from Steve Lloyd: Always talks about why he's not good as he used to be because of a bad knee, ankle, hip, heart guy. Also known as Yorkie guy, who has been milking a bad knee suffered in a game with children at one of his kid's schools for a year.
Lloydy instantly becomes About to be murdered by his radio co-host guy.
Did we miss anyone? Give us your suggestions. The moderator will post them shortly.
